This is a post I never wanted to have to write.
I’m still not sure if I’ll actually publish this post or leave it in my drafts, but at the same time, being open about my mental health may help someone else.
Recently, I’ve just felt horrible. From being ill over Christmas, to now. Today I’ve spent the majority of my day in tears. Tears because I feel I’m not good enough because I’m struggling with everything because I can’t cope with how my life is going. From my degree becoming too much, to my own home life and being unable to get the house I desperately wanted.
I don’t know why I’ve been like this recently. I spoke to my doctor when it first happened, but after the way, I was treated by their receptionist, I refuse to go back. I’m actively looking for a new doctor in my area, but this isn’t the point of this post.
Today I wanted to write just to try and get my thoughts out of my head. I just needed to say everything that was on my mind. The worst part? My mental health has dropped so badly, that I now feel I have no other choice but to drop out of my course. I’m not coping, I’m not succeeding, and it’s due to how low my mood has been going. Maybe I’ll go back to education in a year or so, but right now it just isn’t the right place for me.
I don’t want to commit myself to blogging more regularly right now. In fact, I’m not going to. Right now, I’m focusing on me. I’ll be working on making sure I am ok. Or at least working towards being ok.
Also, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supporting me. From my fabulous blog friends to my family and partner. Here’s hoping 2018 starts to turn itself around.